On Today’s Show

By: Dave Palmer

29/3/2021

CK Mornings

The 400-metre (1312-foot) long Ever Given ship, which has been blocking the Suez Canal for six days, was successfully re-floated at 4.30 am on Monday, local time the ship has since started moving away from the western bank. It’s not yet clear when the canal will be ready for passage again.

The P.A. announcer for the Chicago Blackhawks used to be a traffic reporter.  So he did a video where he reports on the Suez Canal fiasco.  The video shows a map of thousands of ships that are either waiting in place, or heading down around the southern tip of Africa instead.

 

A 67-year-old guy in Thailand went to the doctor after three weeks where he couldn’t stop passing gas.

And it turned out the reason was . . . he had a 59-FOOT TAPEWORM in his body.  The doctors think he got it from eating raw beef.

Believe it or not, that five-foot tapeworm ISN’T the longest one that’s ever been pulled out of a person.  The record is 82 feet, which got pulled out of a guy in India. 

 

A naked guy in Alabama broke into a car at 3:00 A.M. on Tuesday . . . to steal some clothes.  And when the cops got there, they found him walking down the street, wearing the clothes.  It’s not clear why he was naked, but we’ve got a theory . . . he’s a Terminator.  

(Here’s the scene from “Terminator 2” when Arnold walks into a bar naked and asks a biker for his clothes.)

 

A UK man bought a $180 GPS device that he attached to his cat’s collar after the pet disappeared for two days. The tracker, which connected to a smartphone app, reportedly worked well until one day when the cat returned home injured and missing the GPS device. Kindell was surprised to see the tracker quickly moving around town when he checked the app. He says he followed the GPS signal to a neighbor’s and could see it crossing the road—but there was nothing in front of him. After the vet informed him his cat’s injury was likely caused by a rat, he realized the tracker was following local drainage routes. He says he assumes the tracker is inside the rat’s stomach, so he won’t be trying to get it back.

 

Get out your best Hawaiian shirt and pink tutu because “Ace Ventura 3” is officially in the works. In an announcement no one saw coming, the production company behind the first two Jim Carrey-led Ace Ventura films, Morgan Creek, revealed they were developing a third installment with Amazon. It looks like Carrey will be teaming up again with writers Pat Casey and Josh Miller after their work together on “Sonic” last year. “Sonic the Hedgehog 2” has already begun filming, meaning Ace Ventura 3 might be Carrey’s next project after that film wraps.

COUNTRY MUSIC NOTE

 

Joe Nichols charted his first Number One single with “Brokenheartsville” in 2003.

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BIG LOTTERY WINNERS

A couple from Tavistock, Ont., are celebrating after having won the $50-million Lotto Max jackpot from the March 16 draw, according to OLG.

 

The agency says Chad and Christa Breyer had the winning ticket in their car for a week before finally checking it and discovering their newfound fortune. 

 

“I bought the Lotto Max ticket on Sunday for the Tuesday, March 16 draw and put it in the cupholder of my car as I usually do, and went about my business – going to work or running errands – never locking my car,” Chad explained.

 

Christa then convinced him to bring the ticket into the house so she could check it on OLG App.

She was trembling when she saw the ‘$50,000,000’ number displayed on her phone, OLG said.

 

The Breyers have already started to make plans on what to do with their winnings.

 

“We are going to purchase a new home with a big piece of property for our family and also buy a couple of new vehicles – a truck and an all-wheel-drive SUV that performs well in our winters,” Chad said.

 

They also plan to donate to charity and do some travelling once they are safely able to do so.

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GOOD NEWS 

A Doctor in California rewrote the lyrics to the song “My Shot” from “Hamilton” to encourage people to get the vaccine.  

 

And a half-dozen other doctors helped make a full music video.  

 

Now it’s blowing up on YouTube.

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BIRTHDAYS 

[78] Eric Idle, comedian, actor,(member of the ground-breaking Monty Python comedy troupe)

 

[57] Elle Macpherson, model, 5-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model)

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SCIENCE NEWS 

  1. Friday was National Spinach Day, and a new study found Popeye was right. . . spinach really does make you stronger.  Researchers in Australia found that people who eat spinach or other leafy greens every day have 11% stronger leg muscles than people who don’t.  Even if they both exercise the same amount.

 

  1. Archaeologists in Israel found dozens of Dead Sea Scrollfragments with biblical text that were hidden away in a cave about 1,900 years ago.

 

  1. In medical news:  Scientists in the Netherlands figured out how to grow human tear glandsand make them cry.  They hope it’ll help them research how tears are produced.

 

  1. Pick it up on your next walk:  A study in England found slow-walkersare two-and-a-half times more likely to have severe cases of COVID, and four times more likely to die.

 

  1. And in physics:  A team in Austria observed the smallest gravitational wavesever detected.  They basically put two ball bearings next to each other and recorded the gravity of one making the other one move ever so slightly.  So why does it matter?  Well, they think it could help unlock the mysteries of dark matter . . . and maybe even help us figure out if there’s a fifth dimension.  

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FOUR RANDOM FACTS 

  1. Some Volkswagen cars in 1959 had coffee makers built into the dashboard.

 

  1. A pitcher named Mike Bacsik Sr. pitched against Hank Aaronin the game where Aaron hit his record 755th home run . . . but Bacsik got him out and another one of his teammates gave up the home run later in the game.

Thirty-one years later, his son, Mike Bacsik Jr., threw the pitch where Barry Bonds hit his record-breaking 756th home run.

 

  1. The average dog creates 274 pounds of poop a year.

 

  1. Kate Upton’sgreat grandfather invented the washing machine.

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Four Signs It’s Time to Take a Break from Social Media

Chrissy Teigen quit Twitter earlier this week after revealing it was taking a toll on her mental health.  It’s probably a good idea for ALL of us to reevaluate our relationship with social media.  Here are four signs you might need a break . . .

 

  1. You compulsively check your phone.  We’re all way too attached to our phones to begin with, but if you’re checking your notifications, messages, and likes every few minutes, or in a way that affects your job or family time, that’s a big problem.

 

  1. You wake up or fall asleep feeling “off.”  If you’re waking up worried about something you said or saw on social media the night before, it might be time to set some boundaries with your accounts.

 

  1. Your real-life interactions are suffering.  If you’ve been interacting with your friends and family less while getting wrapped up in Facebook arguments or scrolling on Instagram, it might be time to reassess your priorities.

 

  1. You’ve started viewing yourself negatively.  Social media can be dangerous because people only share things they want you to see.  It’s like viewing a “highlight reel” of their life. 

And if you’re constantly comparing yourself to someone else’s highlights, it might make you feel anxious, depressed, or lonely when your life doesn’t quite measure up.  If that happens, it’s definitely time for a break. 

 

MONDAY MARCH 29TH 

 

  1.   The 400-metre (1312-foot) long Ever Given ship, which has been blocking the Suez Canal for six days, was successfully re-floated at 4.30 am on Monday, local time the ship has since started moving away from the western bank. It’s not yet clear when the canal will be ready for passage again.

 

  1.   The P.A. announcer for the Chicago Blackhawks used to be a traffic reporter.  So he did a videowhere he reports on the Suez Canal fiasco.  The video shows a map of thousands of ships that are either waiting in place, or heading down around the southern tip of Africa instead.

 

  1.   You may or may not recognize his name, but you’d recognize the movies and TV shows that were based on his novels.  Author Larry McMurtry diedlast Thursday at the age of 84.  His work inspired a lot of movies and TV shows, including “Hud”, “The Last Picture Show”, and “Lonesome Dove”.  He also won an Oscar for co-writing the screenplay for “Brokeback Mountain”.  (Here’s the theme to “Lonesome Dove” to use with the story.)

 

  1.   Here’s comedian Mike Vecchione on insulting his girlfriend’s home state.  (From “The Tonight Show” on March 10, 2021.)

 

There was no winning ticket for Saturday’s Lotto 649 jackpot of $6.5 million.

However, the guaranteed one-million dollar prize went to a ticket holder in Ontario.

The jackpot for the next Lotto 649 draw Wednesday will be an estimated $9 million.

 

Someone out west won the $15 million dollar Lotto Max prize. The draw tomorrow night will be $10 million. 

Luke Combs Loved the Hard-Hitting Part of High School Football

LUKE COMBS was a singer AND a high school football player, and at that age it’s hard to tell if either one of those skills are gonna stick.  In a recent interview he regretted not taking football as seriously as he should’ve.

Quote, “I was the class clown of the locker room.  I was, like, ‘locker room entertainment guy.’  Those guys that are always cuttin’ up.  Y’know the scene in ‘Remember the Titans’ when they’re singing.  That was me.  I was that guy.

“I loved football, I wish I would’ve committed myself to it a lot more than I did.  I didn’t have the work ethic that I needed to do that, or the drive at that age to do anything.  But it was easy.  

“It was fun.  I liked hittin’ people and I liked singing so I got to accomplish both things at the same time.”

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GARTH BROOKS TO MAKE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT THIS WEEK 

Garth Brooks plans to make a big announcement next week on April Fool’s day, but it’s not going to be a joke. In his words… “It’s pretty friggin’ cool!” In the meantime, while some artists are rescheduling their concerts, he’s moving forward and can’t wait to play songs like “Shallow” and others to a live audience again. [“I’m excited about the Stadium Tour to get to hear that song that ‘big.’ It’s funny how ‘Callin’ Baton Rouge’ sounds amazing in an arena, but ‘Callin’ Baton Rouge’ in a stadium sounds friggin’ amazing! It’s amazing how these songs are ‘picked up.’ But I can’t imagine hearing ‘Shallow’ anywhere else than in a stadium…in that wide-open thing. Especially when The Queen kinda like throws it into third gear and tears it up.”] 

FAST FACTS

“Shallow” is a cover from the 2018 film A Star is Born, sang by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.

 

 

THOMAS RHETT TO PLAY LIVESTREAM CONCERT ON ALBUM RELEASE DAY 

Thomas Rhett has announced plans for a special livestream concert on Friday, April 30th at 8 p.m. ET called “Thomas Rhett One Night Only From Nashville.” The event coincides with the release of his new album, Country Again: Side A, that same day. Tickets for the concert and VIP packages for the post-show Q&A are on-sale now at thomasrhett.veeps.com.

Thomas said, “It’s been a year and a half since I last played a live show. It’s been good to keep sharing music in all the ways we’ve made work (mostly in front of my plaid curtains), but we really wanted to take it up a few notches until we can safely get back out there on the road.”

The lead single from the new album, “What’s Your Country Song,” marks Thomas’ 17th career No. One and 11th consecutive No. One, the longest active streak in the format.

 

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