On Today’s Show

By: Dave Palmer

15/5/2020

CK Mornings

➢ Can you imagine 200 goats walking down your street? That’s exactly what happened in a California Tuesday. A resident there say the goats were clearing brush from the hill behind his house when they broke through a fence and went wandering through the neighborhood. Videos have emerged of the goats being rounded up in the streets. Neighbors say the animals feasted on potted plants and left of trail of droppings behind. Locals say the goats are brought in to clear brush a few times a year for the last 15 years or so.

 

➢ Daniel Radcliffe did the “thirsty” tweets video to promote the new “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” special he’s in, called “Kimmy vs. The Reverend”.  His co-star Ellie Kemper did an interview with Ellen.  And she talked about how “wrong” she felt during a scene where she and Daniel had to KISS, because she’s older and was pregnant at the time.  For the record, Daniel’s 30 . . . Ellie’s 40 . . . and they both still look like they’re about eight.  Here’s a clip from the interview.

 

➢ A guy in Jupiter, Florida named Brian Hitchens who was sharing a lot of conspiracy theories and says he was a total skeptic about the virus, and thought it was just “hysteria.”  But then he and his wife both got sick and ended up in the hospital.  She’s been on a ventilator for several weeks now.

 

➢ Monopoly games can be pretty intense at the best of times, but there’s a new “Breaking Bad” version of the classic board game that brings meth and crime to the table. Instead of the little dog and the boot, players have a choice of Heisenberg’s hat, Tio’s bell, a money barrel, a gas mask, a pink teddy bear or an RV. Houses are referred to as “Tented Houses” and hotels as “SuperLabs”, and the board features locations such as ‘Unncle Jack’s Compound’, ‘JP Wynne High School’ and ‘Schrader House’. The game, which is recommended for 17+, is currently only available in the US, priced at $39.99.

MATT DAMON thinks we should’ve been more prepared for the coronavirus pandemic . . . if we saw his 2011 movie “Contagion”.

He said, quote, “Anybody who said you couldn’t predict this, I mean, just look at ‘Contagion’.

10 years ago we made a movie just talking to experts and asking them how this would look and kind of how this would go down.”

Matt also revealed that his oldest daughter contracted COVID-19, and has since recovered.  But even though things are bad now . . . and they’re probably going to get worse before they get better . . . Matt is optimistic.  He said, quote, “I hope some good can come out of it . . .

“Luckily, this isn’t as lethal as it might have been, so maybe this is a really good dry run for the big one that might come.  Because these things do come along every few decades . . . best to be ready for it.”

 

 

 

TODAY IS……………….

  • “Peace Officers Memorial Day”, An annual observance by over 20,000 police departments across North America to honor colleagues killed in the line of duty.

 

  • “Dinosaur Day”, a Paleontologists favorite day! Dinosaurs first appeared during the Triassic period, between 243 and 231 million years ago, although the exact origin and timing is still the subject of research. The name ‘dinosaur’ is Greek, meaning “terrible lizard”. (While many people think dinosaurs were massive, they were usually human sized or smaller. Scientists believe that the larger bones were just easier fossilized)

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COUNTRY MUSIC NOTE

Singer-songwriter June Carter Cash, wife of Johnny Cash and a member of the Carter Family, died in 2003.

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There’s a Facebook Group Where People Pretend to Be Ants That Has 1.8 Million Members

There’s a Facebook group where people pretend to be ANTS.  As in, the insect.  They act like ants, take orders from a queen, and also discuss ant-related subjects like food on the ground and Paul Rudd in “Ant-Man”.

 

For example, the queen recently posted an order to “dig.”  And more than 13,000 people responded in the comments, “dig.”

 

In another post, someone put a picture of ice cream and wrote, quote, “Found snack.  Need help eating.”  It got 3,100 responses of people saying “lick” or “munch.”

 

But here’s the kicker.  Since March, the group has gone from 100,000 members to more than 1.8 MILLION.

 

The group was founded by a college student in North Dakota named Tyrese Childs.  He says he thinks it’s become popular because, quote, “I think people are searching for something to do right now.”

 

And for 1.8 million people, that’s cosplaying as ants in an ant colony.

If you want to join the group, anyone can apply on Facebook . . . but they have to approve you.

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The New Trend Is . . . Milking Cucumbers?

Apparently, there’s a new trend from TikTok going around where people are MILKING CUCUMBERS.

 

Here’s what that means.  You cut the end off of a cucumber, then start rubbing it in a circular motion against the area of the cucumber you just cut it from.

 

And as you do it, white stuff starts coming out of the edges of the cucumber.  Then you brush off that stuff and eat the cucumber . . . and, believe it or not, it TASTES BETTER.

 

Why?  Apparently, that white stuff is an organic compound called cucurbitacin, and it causes the bitterness you sometimes get in cucumber slices.

 

So by “milking” your cucumber, it can taste fresher and less bitter.

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GOOD NEWS

The U.S. now has its OWN World War Two vet walking for charity.  Captain Tom Moore raised millions in the U.K. last month.  Now a 99-year-old in Oregon named Bud Lewis is doing it.  He’s raising money for a charity called the Sunshine Division by walking 100 laps around a track before his 100th birthday in August.

 

A 7-year-old in Wisconsin was planning a lemonade stand before everything shut down.  So she launched a virtual one with coupons, and it’s raising TENS OF THOUSANDS of dollars for charity.  Enough to feed over 600 families a week.

 

Two brothers who are both doctors couldn’t wear face masks and keep seeing patients unless they shaved their beards.  They’re both followers of the Sikh religion, where men aren’t supposed to shave.  So they talked with friends, and decided their religion’s other tenet of “selfless service” is more important right now.

 

A musician named Adam Chester is holding weekly, socially distant concerts in his suburban Los Angeles cul-de-sac . . . and he’s calling it “Quaranchella.”

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BIRTHDAYS

[64] Dan Patrick, TV sportscaster

 

[51] Emmitt Smith, pro football player (Dallas Cowboys running back who retired with an NFL record 18,355 rushing yards)

 

SATURDAY- Danny Trejo is 76

 

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HAUNTED HOUSE

Actor Christopher Meloni Selling ‘Haunted’ House Where Former Owners Complained of Ghosts

Law & Order star Christopher Meloni has listed his Hollywood Hills home for sale and the estate comes with a rich, and, according to some former owners, spooky history. The $6.5 million abode was the TV home to Ozzie and Harriet Nelson on the classic 1950s sitcom, Ozzie & Harriet.

 

The couple called it home in real life as well. But the house might be most famous for its other inhabitants, as some have claimed it to be filled with ghosts. In a 2013 interview with The Los Angeles Times, real estate agent Billy Rose said he sold the mansion three times and each owner came back to tell him it was haunted. He was told sheets flew off sleeping guests, locked doors would open and perfume would waft through the hallways unexpectedly.

A model train — once owned by Ozzie Nelson and passed down from owner to owner — sat on a track near the ceiling of the pub room and was said to suddenly start “running in the middle of the night.”

 

Also, “a child saw children playing in the yard and asked to join them,” reported a news source. Yet, there was no one outside. Rose told the Times, “I would always make a disclosure that there was a legend that the house was haunted.” It was reported that one buyer even brought in paranormal investigators to make sure “their purchase would be agreeable to the resident ghosts.”

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Here’s What to Do When You Run Into Someone Who Isn’t Social Distancing

With stay-at-home orders relaxing and more and more places starting to re-open, you’re bound to run into people who aren’t taking the social distancing guidelines as seriously as they should.  Here are four tips on how to handle it . . .

 

  1. Speak up.  Especially if you’re in a higher-risk group for the virus.  If you’re not able to move out of the way to avoid the person, try asking them to take a few steps back . . . and mention that it’s because you’d like BOTH of you to stay safe.

 

  1. Don’t get angry.  Shouting at someone isn’t going to get them to change their behavior.  So if you DO speak up, keep it cool and respectful.

 

  1. Don’t assume you know why someone isn’t following the guidelines.  Give the person the benefit of the doubt, especially since the guidance on social distancing and face masks has changed over time.

And some people aren’t able to wear face masks for legitimate health reasons, like if they have breathing problems or are extra sensitive to touch and textures.

 

  1. Thank people who DO practice good social distancing.  It reinforces their effort and helps YOU have a more positive mindset by focusing on the good instead of the bad.

 

 

FRIDAY MAY 15TH  

 

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS

[64] Dan Patrick, TV sportscaster

[51] Emmitt Smith, pro football player (Dallas Cowboys running back who retired with an NFL record 18,355 rushing yards)

SATURDAY- Danny Trejo is 76

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  1. Kevin Hart surprisedthe winner of his All In Challenge yesterday.  The guy’s name is Henry Law, and he’s an anesthesiologist out of Cherry Hill, New Jersey.  His big win consists of a “big, little, massive part” in Kevin’s next move, an on-site trailer, assistant, and car service.

 

  1. Here’s a Friday Flashback clip, when Meredith Vieira was hosting “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”.  She asks the contestant which planet is named after a figure in Greek mythology.  It could be Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, or Uranus.  The contest thinks out loud and then says, “I can’t even put a finger on Uranus.”  (The contestant chose Venus, which was wrong the correct answer is . . . Uranus.)

 

  1. For National Pizza Party Day, here’s comedian Bob Marley on how funny it is waiting for a pizza to be delivered, then the excitement when it arrives.

 

  1. Masks at Disneyland parks, smoker stolen from restaurant, disposable menus, and two new Fire tablets.  (From Conan O’Brien, Seth Meyers, and Jimmy Fallon on Thursday, May 14, 2020)

 

 

 

TOBY KEITH “FURNITURE STORE GUITAR SESSIONS”

TOBY KEITH has been quarantined down in sunny Mexico.  But he didn’t bring his guitar, for some reason.  So, he went to a local furniture store and bought one . . . and then turned it into a social media thing.  He’s been posting “Furniture Store Guitar Sessions” of him going unplugged with different songs.  On Wednesday he did the country classic “(Now and Then There’s) A Fool Such As I”.  (It’s also been recorded by Hank Snow, Jim Reeves, and Elvis.)

 

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Kenny Chesney Is Postponing His Tour Until Next Year, But He’s Still Paying His 120 Employees

KENNY CHESNEY announced that he’s postponing his 2020 Chillaxification Tour until next year.

Tickets will be honored for rescheduled shows next year.  Refunds will also be available.

Ironically, there was an interview in yesterday’s “L.A. Times” that he did BEFORE pulling the plug.  At that point he was still “confident” he’d be “playing music somewhere” this year.

Still, that would’ve been a drastically reduced schedule . . . and a lot of his people would take a hit in the pocket, right?  Well, not exactly.  He was asked how many people are in his band and crew.

He said, quote, “I have 120 employees.  Thank God I don’t have to let anybody go this year.  “[But] I had to make a decision if I was gonna keep my lifestyle the way it was or if I’m gonna take care of my people.”

Here’s at least one fun moment from the “L.A. Times” interview.  He quietly did a show a couple of months ago, and you’ll never guess where. Quote, “I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but I did a wedding in Florida at the beginning of March.  And I don’t play weddings.  But it was worth it.”  It wasn’t a relative or close friend either.  Quote, “Nope.  Just somebody that REALLY wanted me to play his daughter’s wedding.”

 

MAREN MORRIS DELAYS TOUR UNTIL 2021 

Maren Morris has postponed her 2020 RSVP The Tour dates until 2021. Tickets purchased for the tour will be honored for the new dates. For refunds, visit the point of purchase for more information.

 

GEORGE STRAIT POSTPONES TWO UPCOMING SHOWS

George Strait has announced the postponement of two upcoming shows as he prioritizes fans’ safety during the ongoing pandemic. His “Strait to South Bend” at Notre Dame Stadium, initially set to take place on Saturday, August 15th will move to Saturday, August 7, 2021 with special guests Chris Stapleton and Brothers Osborne. Originally scheduled for Saturday, August 22nd, the King of Country Music’s U.S. Bank Stadium show in Minneapolis will now take place on Saturday, July 31, 2021 with special guests Chris Stapleton and Little Big Town.

 

 

The Time Justin Moore Tried to Suck-Up to Charlie Daniels, and Failed

Have you ever tried to impress one of your heroes, or someone you really respect, and then have it backfire on you, and you feel stupid?  JUSTIN MOORE feels your pain because it happened to him. Here’s the story:  He saw a video pop up on his Twitter timeline of CHARLIE DANIELS on stage somewhere getting the news that he was going into the Hall of Fame.  Justin gave it a quick look and then made a rash decision to reach out. Quote, “I thought, ‘Oh man, wow.’  So I text him and I go, ‘Mr. Daniels, man, congratulations. So long overdue and yada, yada, yada . . .  and so happy for ya and hope all is well.'”

Charlie replied back that the video was from a couple years ago.  Justin adds, quote, “I was like, ‘that was stupid.’  But at least I was trying to congratulate him.  I was just two years late.”

 

 

MIRANDA LAMBERT performed an unplugged version of Bluebird on last Friday’s “Tonight Show”.  She was in her “little writing nook” in Tennessee, and dedicated it to the “first responders, healthcare workers, and grocery store people that are keeping us safe and fed.”

 

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